Charm your way up to your crush with over 30+ of the quirkiest Valentine’s Day quotes.
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.” — Charles M. Schulz
“I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it.” — Elizabeth Evans
“Love is fun but, it is not going to pay the bills.” — Jessica Martin
“The four most important words in any marriage. I’ll do the dishes.”
“When you’re in love, it’s the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your life.” — Richard Lewis
“A person in love partly becomes a poet, a composer and the corniest person in the room.”
“The great question which I have not been able to answer… is, “What does a woman want? — Freud
“Never marry a man you wouldn’t want to be divorced from.” — Nora Ephron
“Without Valentine’s Day, February would be…well, January.” — Jim Gaffigan, Comedian
“If you text ‘I love you’ to a person and the person writes back an emoji — no matter what that emoji is, they don’t love you back.” — Chelsea Peretti
“Where love is the case, the doctor is an ass.” — English Proverb
“My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. — Joan Rivers (RIP)
“Gravitation can’t be held responsible for people falling in love.” — Albert Einstein
“I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough.” — Russell Brand
“To fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful.”
“You are the pain in my butt, the dent in my wallet and the scratches in my brand new car that I don’t mind.”
“Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.” — Richard Jeni
“I’m now making a Jewish porno film. Ten percent sex, 90 percent guilt.” — Henny Youngman
“True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.” — Erich Segal
“True love is singing karaoke ‘Under Pressure’ and letting the other person sing the Freddie Mercury part.” — Mindy Kaling
“Love doesn’t drop on you unexpectedly; you have to give off signals, sort of like an amateur radio operator.” — Helen Gurley Brown
“The Venn diagram of boys who don’t like smart girls and boys you don’t wanna date is a circle.” — John Green
“I want to be your sweet good morning, your lovely good night and your most painful goodbye.”
“You’re just like bacon, beer, and chocolate – you make everything better.”
“Love is a lot like a backache; it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.” — George Burns
“Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.” — Phyllis Diller
“Love is not having to hold in your farts anymore.” — Bree Luckey